Stand in the line just to hit a new low......spiraling.....

I'm "working from home" today. I don't think I've worked a full day in two weeks, really. Since I broke up with the Unpredictably Predictable one, I've been out every night. Lesson to be learned - when hormonal and emotionally upset, go easy on the martinis. Armwrestled a fireman last night...ugh. The big guy was acting all weird with me last night, probably because I came off territorial on the chick who had cornered me last week about him. I wasn't being defensive, actually - I just wasn't in the mood to deal with her last night. Obviously, since I armwrestled..whatever...lol. So since I was all whacked out, and feeling just a teeny bit insecure - when the bartender kissed me, I didn't dodge it, I reciprocated. He had to give me a lift home. Guy's met me twice, and both times had to drive me out of there. I WAS OVERSERVED, I tell you! This is also why I try to stick to private clubs. The general population just does not deserve me some nights.

So, thanks to the awkwardness, I'm overanalyzing. And even though he has an interview tonight, I'm not going to call him. I'll do that tomorrow. In the meantime, I'd really like to just crack a beer and drop a sleepy pill. Make this day gone. I don't play games well. I don't like them - never did. THIS is one of the reasons it's best to just STAY in whatever fucking nightmare relationship I'm in. So I don't have to do the "do I call? what did he mean by THAT?" bullshit. If I want to call someone, I like to just pick up the damn phone and do it.