That lady with all the chihuahuas and cats

I guess Timmy Tim was right....no one will ever put up with my shit...or my crazy family. It's nice that outsiders want to offer me advice on how to be nicer, gentler, less nuts...or whatever. What none of them know is that I started giving up a long time ago. On happiness, peace, you name it, I'm all set. I'm seriously going to start planning my funeral instead of a wedding....my supply of dealbreakers is endless. At least I KNOW I'm going to die. Maybe I'll order a Konditormeister, and get a bouncy clown for the kids. Something for everyone...lol.

I'm very sad today. Bypassed slightly off and melancholy...and went straight to woe is me. I know three months isn't the longest time in the world. But I honestly have feelings that I haven't had before...like...maybe he's the REAL DEAL. Then, my true self shows itself in an interaction with my mother, and there you go. He didn't want the house key even BEFORE....so I have no one to blame but myself.

Bottom line - I don't feel as if I'm allowed to feel badly....or make mistakes. Since everyone's so good at calling me out on this crap....I'm going into hiding or something.

I'm too tired and weepy to work the 2nd job tonight. Maybe I can get the kids to start eating less....